On Being YOU (Unapologetically)
“Don’t just tell them; show them.” - David Goggins
Controversial as he may be, I love this guy. David Goggins is the ultimate badass: a Navy Seal, ultra athlete who has accomplished goals in his life that most couldn’t even think up (i.e running 100 miles straight without training and with broken feet). He’s so driven and potential-focused, it borders on the line of inhuman! By no means am I saying I aspire to be him, but I do respect the hell out of this dude. What I admire about David Goggins is that he is himself through and through (unapologetically). And he doesn’t just tell people who he is; he shows them.
As a lover of words (I inhale books, have a passion for writing, and talking about ideas literally turns me on), what I return to over and over again is that words have little meaning if they’re not backed up by action. That words lose their strength without the willingness to embody them. Namely, when we say one thing and act in a completely different way. What matters is not just saying the words, but instead how we live our words through our actions and choices, with our FEET (not just our minds).
For example, if someone goes around saying kindness is important to them and why kindness matters (yada yada), but when it comes to dealing with the Uber driver or the waitress at a restaurant, on a consistent basis, they’re a total asshole. So what does this actually say about how kind a person is?
I’m not saying that we have to be perfect - I’m certainly not and don’t know anyone who is. What I’m saying is that starting to pay less attention to your words and what you’re saying, and more attention to how you choose to LIVE in the world is super important and a real game changer.
AND, total permission to ask for forgiveness when you mess up. I do all the time - just ask my fiance :). This can look like catching yourself during or after a moment of being out of alignment (i.e - when your actions don’t reflect your values or how you want to show up in the world) and saying:
“Forgive me for acting unkind in that moment. I recognize that I was out of alignment. I will do my best to show up differently next time.” When we start to name and build awareness around unhelpful patterns and behaviors, we can choose to show up differently in our lives.
To me, aligning your words with your choices and actions is a matter of integrity and authenticity. Because the words are actually the easy part. The part when you’re not fully accountable.
And the living of the words? The showing up to the words? That’s when shit gets real. And messy. When you become responsible and accountable for your choices and actions - for your life. It’s the space when who you truly are gets revealed. The space when you get to become, like Goggins, YOU (unapologetically).
So, give it some thought:
Are your words a reflection of your actions and choices?
And vice versa: do your actions and choices reflect your words?
And if not, what impact does that have on your life?
And how might you start to shift it for the sake of greater integrity and authenticity?